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Tag Archive 'Bug Zone'

Oct 13 2011

The Road to Hell and (Sometimes) Back.




By Philip Alan Belove, Ed.D.  All rights reserved
You need to know this, you really do. I see couples all the time who love each other, and yet they do things to each other that hurt each other and tear their relationship apart. And yet, all the while, every step along the way, they feel that they are doing the right thing, and the only sensible thing. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions.

Somehow, if you can step back from what you are doing and see how it works, why your actions are so tempting and justified and why they are also destructive, you can send things in a different direction. This is useful knowledge.

It’s about how people try to make their relationship better and end up only making it worse. It’s about what you can do instead, how you can protect yourself, your partner, and the relationship, as well as protect your honor and your heart. Useful knowledge I think. I’ve explained to so many people that I finally decided to write it out.

It’s my upgrade of an extremely useful tool originally developed by Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs.

Feelings are Information.

“How do you feel about that?” is the same as saying, “What is your emotional relationship to that?”

Not everyone can put that stuff into words. Baby’s establish very complex relationships with the people around them long before they can talk. Dogs establish very complex emotional relationships and never can name them.

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