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Apr 01 2009

Books on Relationships

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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship

by Mira Kirshenbaum (Amazon price $11.16)

If you are not sure you want to stay in your relationship, here’s a great resource! The author does a fine job of talking to the reader in a no-nonsense way about relationship ambivalance, which is something that many of us go through at least once in our lifetimes. It’s a wonderfully useful tool to help you examine how you feel about your relationship and whether or not most people who felt the way you do were happier staying or leaving. I found this book to be extremely helpful. If you are debating leaving a long-term relationship or marriage, buy this book!

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Restoring Relationships: Five Things to Try Before You Say Goodbye

by Peter M. Kalellis (Amazon price $13.56)

Experiencing the break up of a relationship can be very painful. It doesn’t matter if it’s a marriage or other form of partnership; it usually hurts badly. Psychotherapist Dr. Peter M. Kalellis has much to offer in his new book, “Restoring Relationships – Five Things to Try Before You Say Goodbye”. I very much enjoyed reading this book. Instead of presenting dry and abstract theories, Dr. Kalellis shares his important ideas with simple language we can all understand. I especially appreciated the stories about real couples, and that he included practical action steps throughout the book. If you or someone you know is in a relationship that is in trouble, Restoring Relationships is a tool that can help make a difference.

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Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship

By John Gray, Ph.D. 1997 (Amazon price: $6.29)”

John Gray is the Blockbuster of Pop Psychology. It is fashionable in many professional circles to deprecate what he has to say; I think he is worth reading. He listens to the people who come to listen to him and he’s collected a lot of lore. When he speaks, he reflects much of what he has heard and people believe he speaks to them, to their heart’s truth. His presentation is clear. He has many of ideas and suggestions, all of them from that particular and large cross section he speaks to. Here is one of his more interesting ideas: “The more a man pursues women that he could not love, the less he is able to feel physically attracted to a woman whom he could love.” Even if you disagree with him, if you read his stuff and think about it, you will have done some important work for yourself.

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Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting With Your Partner

by Phillip C. McGraw (Amazon Price $18.36)

Refreshingly, Dr. McGraw begins the book by questioning the therapeutic standards too often given to the thousands of couples in trouble. “The divorce rate in America refuses to drop below fifty percent, and twenty percent of us will divorce not once but twice in our lifetime. Clearly, pleasant and generic instructions on how to communicate better or theoretical musings that give you great insights about relationships just weren’t going to cut it fifteen years ago and won’t cut it now. ” Obviously (to paraphrase him), couples therapy as we have known it isn’t working. This book is primarily for relationships ‘on the rocks’ – the first steps are set up to evaluate and understand what your relationship is, how it got this way (no surprise, it didn’t fall apart on its own, or because of your partner). The Seven Steps are not simple or simplistic, but provide structure for thought and more. This book is not about what’s wrong with your partner and how to fix him or her. It is about the person reading the book — you! For those in a troubled relationship, you might want to read this yourself first, and work on your own issues. Dr. Phil has a directness that can be intimidating to some – but for some of us, we need that extra push. A great book! – SP

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We Have To Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Women and Men

By Samuel Shem, M.D. and Janet Surrey, Ph.D. 1998  (Amazon price : $11.20)

Shem and Surry are on the faculty of the Harvard Medical School and the Stone Center at Wellesley College. Together they’ve conducted workshops bringing men and women for a dialog about the differences between them. The book discusses the fears of men and the yearnings of women and ways to reconcile the two.

We Have To Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Women and Men By Samuel Shem, M.D. and Janet Surrey, Ph.D. 1998  (Amazon price : $11.20)
Shem and Surry are on the faculty of the Harvard Medical School and the Stone Center at Wellesley College. Together they’ve conducted workshops bringing men and women for a dialog about the differences between them. The book discusses the fears of men and the yearnings of women and ways to reconcile the two.

Buy the Book

50+ And Looking for Love Online

by Barbara Harrison (Amazon price $10.36)

The author takes the reader step-by-step through the process of choosing where to advertise, creating the perfect ad, selecting the right responder, and managing the first date. She explains the inevitable risks and often surprising rewards, and includes practical advice from psychologists, advertising experts, Web site managers, and other over-50 singles. An appendix of publications and Web sites, a workbook, and checklists for success are included.

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