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May 17 2010

Dating At Midlife

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Each new life phase has its own special challenges. Puberty, starting a career, being married, raising kids. Timeless challenges. However, creating an enduring romantic relationship from scratch when you are midlife is both common and relatively new; one without a lot of accumulated wisdom to draw on.

I’m in my late 60’s and I’ve been studying how people address this challenge successfully, and unsuccessfully, for almost 30 years.  I’ve talked to thousands of folks and read a lot.

What you’ll find here are my own articles, plus poems and quotes that have inspired me, book recommendations, books for sale, questions answered and whatever else I think will be helpful and inspiring. I keep adding articles and the latest ones are on this page.

I do invite you to sign up for notices of new stuff.

I am Philip Belove, M.A., Ed.D.  I got my masters in counseling psych in 1978 and my doc  in psychology with a focus on marriage and family therapy in 1986. Someone thought Dr. Belove was a brand name.  It is a bit karmic.  I care about this topic.

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3 responses so far

3 Responses to “Dating At Midlife”

  1. kateyon 01 Oct 2010 at 10:09 pm

    I have been married for 5 years and am now in the process of getting a divorce (my choice) and my soon to be ex-husband, Jarod, doesn’t want one and still hopes that we can work things out. We fight all the time, don’t do anything together, lost our common interests and its emotional draining to me and my kids. As I try to move on with my life and be a good mom, he won’t accept the fact that life with me, not his kids, is over. I think he is becoming depressed. I care for him as a person and feel bad for hurting him to the point that I feel sorry for him and find myself pitying him because this is my decision. Is this normal to have these feelings? What do they mean? I know that he will find someone who can truly make him happy one day so why am I feeling this way? Thank you.

  2. drbeloveon 01 Feb 2011 at 9:17 am

    You ask why you feel bad about a decision that is very painful to a person you once loved. Ending an intimate relationship, a marriage, with young children, is always very painful. In order to leave you have to suppress your feelings of love for him. But you still feel them. It’s just that the relationship itself no longer is safe and nurturing, for whatever reasons. so, yes, it is normal to have those feelings.

  3. Michelleon 05 Oct 2010 at 11:13 pm

    I just wanted to say thank you for your honest opinions and advice, all of which I have taken into consideration and will try and incorporate into my current relationship. You are truly a blessing! Thanks again.

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