May 20 2010
Evaluating Relationship Readiness in Yourself and in a Potential Partner.
by Philip Belove, Ed.D.
Being single at midlife is a form of midlife crisis.
“Oh, no, not me,” you say. “I’m the good one. The crisis is what the other person is having.” But the truth is, when a couple breaks up, they are both in a crisis.
A crisis is a situation in which, no matter what you do, something new is going to happen.
There are doors in life that only go one way. Once you’ve walked through them, you can’t walk back. Being suddenly single at midlife is one of those doors. And someone who’s walked through it is in a crisis.
Is a person in midlife crisis really ready for a long term relationship?
Usually not. But there are lots of people out there like that, not yet ready for re-marriage or its equivalent and none the less acting like they are. There are others who don’t know what they are looking for. As you no doubt know, not everyone out there is honest, even with themselves.
What determines the kind of a relationship a person in a midlife crisis is ready for?
Relationship readiness. There are four stages to a midlife crisis. In each stage there is a change in both the kind of relationship a person wants and what the person is capable of. Each stage has a different kind of relationship readiness.