Apr 25 2009
It Really Is a Jungle Out There…
Mate Poaching. I think this term was coined by evolutionary psychologist, David Buss. It’s quite common. Just as you suspected. And it is especially common in the de-regulated world of midlife dating. 20% of long term relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with others. This holds steady across age groups and couples who are married, living together or dating. From current Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a survey of 16,000 men and women in 53 countries. 60% men and 40% women have attempted to entice others who were already committed to others for short term flings. 47% men and 32% women succumbed.
Poachers tended to be people who were adventuresome, sexually attractive, and willing to talk about sex. Those who cheated tended to be people with high self-esteem but were selfish, distrusting and immodest. Also, the more a culture allowed for equality between men and women, the more likely it was that men and women did equal cheating and poaching.
Further, this is generally known. In a study in Britain, forty-five percent of women owned up to secretly checking the text messages on their partner’s phone, compared to 31 percent of men.
Among younger people, nine percent of Britons admitted to dumping a partner by sending an MS text message on a cell phone. Among those aged 15 to 24, the figure rises to 20 percent.